Making Nice with the 80s

A home-made friendship collage for the worst decade of the 20th Century

I'm not going to mince words here: the 80s really sucked. There was a recession, Reagan, Thatcher, Chernobyl, an attempt or two by the Christian right to censor music, horrid fashion, Flashdance, the birth of MTV, the birth of the Fox network, the assassination of John Lennon, etc., etc., etc.

Then again, there were some OK things. Like DeLoreans. And... and... Well, there were DeLoreans.

Still, in my mind, all of this stuff is secondary to the insanely shitty mainstream music that came out during the decade. As if it weren't bad enough that the populace was subjected to the whims of a senile neocon, it was also duped into believing that cheap synthesizers, gated snare drums, and guys in spandex constituted legitimate pop music. Even worse - this was a time when music's actual legends hit rock bottom. Bob Dylan, David Bowie, James Brown, the Rolling Stones, Neil Young, Stevie Wonder - the excesses and warped aesthetics of the 80s turned their once-brilliant art into raw sewage. This was, bar none, the worst decade for pop music in recorded history.

The "We Are the World" video illustrates just how many things were profoundly wrong with the 80s.

But I've decided to make nice with the 80s today (as the subject of this post would suggest). Having been born during the illustrious decade, I figure it's not right to spew forth such hateful things all the time. Today, I'm going to force myself to come up with a list of five songs that actually benefit from the 80s pop aesthetic. The following are songs that actually use the era's production values to their advantage:

#5

The Police - Synchronicity II

Outside of the 80s, a snare drum would never sound that huge. A synth sound like the one at the top of the song just wouldn't exist. Nor would the reverb on Sting's voice or the weird guitar effects during the break. Could you picture this song being produced in any other era? I thought not.

#4

David Bowie - Ashes to Ashes

Though the Thin White Duke took a serious nose dive in the 80s ("Let's Dance," anyone?), he opened the decade with 1980's Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps), which is actually a fantastic record (It's so good, in fact, that I suspect he completed the bulk of it in 1979). Then again, could you imagine that bass tone coming out of any other decade? Or that piano tone? How about the video? This is a rarity: Bowie doing the 80s aesthetic correctly.

#3

Simple Minds - Don't You Forget About Me

Fondly remembered by an entire generation as the theme from The Breakfast Club, this song is a true classic of its era. That snare drum has "1987" written all over it. So does the synth that comes in during the chorus. Would anybody outside of the 80s use such a cheesy sound? Not unless they were feeling really nostalgic. Give the band credit where it's due, though: it works.

#2

Tears for Fears - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Even ten years after its initial release, "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" retained its poignancy as the opening song for Dennis Miller Live (which began airing in 1994) - proof that the 80s aesthetic was tastefully utilized in this track. The main "80s culprits" in the mix: 1) The track is awash in very dated sounding synths. 2) The vocal reverb is about as dated as it gets. Nonetheless, the track as a whole still sounds fresh.

#1

A-Ha - Take on Me

Everything about this song is a product of its era. The snare sound, the cheesy synths, the vocal sounds ("I'll be gone...") - hell, even the tempo and beat are clichés. The video is something that would only fly in the 80s. But there's something about this track that sets it apart from the rest. A-Ha might not have had any success after this song, but they nonetheless managed to gracefully utilize an aesthetic that was marked by its lack of grace.